sharing of thoughts and experiences to people can make a difference in the life of the blogger
you've gotta live it
to believe it.
sharing of thoughts and experiences to people can make a difference in the life of the blogger
Alexiel
It's been a while. My last entry was in 2006, 4 years ago. There are a lot of things that happened in that span of 4 years. I am not anymore a high school student - immature, no experience in life and love. I am now a woman but still love to laugh till I drop. Blogging is not that common anymore, instead there is microblogging, twitter, plurk, and so on. Multiply is also a hit for many, some of them used it for their business. And of course, Friendster is history, and Facebook is now ruling the web.
Though there are these changes, some remain the same - expectations from family to do good in my studies, finding hard to trust people surrounding me, and NBSB. Yeah... I've grown so much, I even have my own laptop now, unlike before wherein I need to stay late at night just to sneak in to use the PC. I can enjoy surfing the net in the comforts of my own room.
When I was reading my previous entries, I can't help myself from laughing. I can't believe that I was a jejemon back then. Though not the extreme type. And my entries were so full of bitterness. I can't control my feelings back then. That's why my high school classmates were mad at me and saw me as a big, giant lobster that hinder their way.
Now, I am more timid. controlled. Should I say sophisticated? I don't know. But one thing is for sure, I was changed by God. I am happy I have met Him. I am grateful that He lighted my path. Through the obstacles, I may have stumbled and fell down, but He was there to help me. He is always guiding me. and He will always be.
I am changed. I am inspired. I am guided. Because of God.
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 10/27/2010 03:39:00 PM
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
If an angel and a devil were to fall in love with each other, can their love transcend the law of heaven and hell?
Can the angel set her wings on fire?
Can the devil soar at daylight?
This is fate’s decree…
Love can’t change what are not meant to be…
ayan… sobrang marami na ang nangyari nung nakaraang linggo. Pagkatapos ng nakakgulantang na UPCAT result at last day ng perio, nagging busy pa rin ang fourth year, dahil kelangang mgprepare para sa “litmus” presentation. Todo practice, sayaw ditto, kanta roon, lights, props at iba pa. dikit ng dyaryo, tapal ditto, tapal doon. Kelangna mging madilim ang room para sa presentation.
January 23- Bago ko maklimutan, sobrang special ang Jan.23, bakit? Kc po pinagbigyan kami ni sir kulong n mag-practice prA sa Chicago. First time un. Pinakita lang niya ang result ng perio sa physics, na masaya nman ako, dahil di ko ini-expect n mataas ang makukuha ko, to think na sariling sikap ito. Actually, ang araw n ito ay puro checking lang ng perio nmin. Nilabas n ung resulta sa chem., pasado naman ako, sa econ, mataas din, sayang lamang at di ako ng-highest, muntikan na… 2 points n lng sana. Sa calculus, yehey, unexpected din. Hehe…
January 24- Dress rehearsal na namin. Yesh cmon. Sobrang excited ang bawat isa sa presentation. Pero wla pa kming mga make-up etc. pero musta namn ang costumes ng cell block girls? Grabe daring kung daring… nung hapon, finals namn ng singing contest (duet) representatives nmin sina vittzy at amae. Sobrang sabotahe ang number nila. Ung music ilang beses ng-stop, buti n lng nndyan si mickey. Slamat. Accompaniment sya, piano… okei n sana, kaso nga lng nung c vittzy na, biglang nagloko ung mic,, shet. Ka-bwesit tlaga. Pinaghandaan nila ito,tpos ganun lng ang mngyayari. Sobrng naasar tlaga ako nun. Kya pagkatapos nilang mgpresent, WALKOUT ang avo.. shem tlga,, well.. erase, n ntin un..
January 25- nung umaga, bc ang avo dahil sa pag=prepare pra sa demo ni mrs. Binas. Sobrang prepared ang avo, with matching visual aids pa yan. Tpos sosyal, dahil ang class nmin sa conference hall. Wow nman, aircon. Nung hapon, balik practice ulit ang mga tao, as in… sobrang practice kung practice. Pero naudlot ang practice naming, dahil pinabababa na kmi ni kuya guard, eh ayaw nga naming, kaya ayun, pinatay nila ung main connection ng kuryente sa floor nmin. Musta nmn un, habang bigay todo ka sa pagsayaw, biglang nmatay lhat ng ilaw pati ung music. Kaasar. Pero kei lng, at least nakauwi kmi ng maaga. Nung pauwi na ako, sa sakayan ng tricycle, may kumalabit sa kin, pg tingin ko di maxadong nakilala, hanggang sa ngsalita siya, c chanel pala… nagtsikahan kmi sa gilid ng paradahan ng tricycle ng almost 20 mins. As in, ganun ktagal, napgusapan ung reunion, at mga nangyari dun. Ang saya, sayng at di ako nakaattend, late ko n kcng nbasa.
January 26- this is it. Presentation day n tlga… call time ng avo4: 5 a.m, musta nman un, tulog pa ako nun eh, hehe. Pero npilitan akong mgising ng maaga, mga 4:30a.m, tpos nkarating ako sa skul mga 5:10a.m. ang dilim sobra… tpos inihatid ako ni dady, pagkababa ng tricycle, tahol agad si brownie (school dog), katakot ung khol. Ang dilim p tlga nung building, buti n lng bago kmi umakyat ng building ay nhanap ni renan ung main switch ng kuryente pra sa 4th floor. Ang syang mgpractice ng ganun kadilim ang gnda ng effect nung lights, sobra.kya lng nman kc maaga ang avo, dahil ang alam naming 7:30 ung presentation ng avo, tpos un pla 11 am pa.. grabe, puyat ako. Bago presentation, sobrang ngarag, minamadali n kming mag-make up, magbihis at kung anu-ano pa. syet… wag nio namn akong madaliin,masisira make-up ko.. ako lng ang ng-make up sa akin. Atually, isa n ako sa 3 marunong mgmake-up sa avo. Take note: 3 lng kmi. Natuto ako sa kapapanood sa mga stylist nmin dahil may salon kmi dati. Presentation time. Todo to the highest performance level, as in. pgkatpos naming, sugod agad ung ibng avo pra mapanood ang bec, puno n kc agad, kya d na ako nkipagsiksikan. Ngkwentuhan n lng ang amynk. Ang topic: UP… bracket, allowance, scholars atbp. Tpos ayun, sugod nman s Edison pra manood ng rent, tpos s fleming pra sa Moulin rouge. Tpos, naglinis n kmi.. hehehe.
Tpos mglinis, diretso kmi sa UP Diliman, Admission office, pra makita personally ang result ng upcat. Picture, picture, picture. Tpos hanap ng mga kakilala, kung nakpasa b o hindi. At ang trip nmin n nkapasa ng b.s. nursing, bilangin kung ilan ang estudyante ng b.s. nursing, ang bilang nmin 47 students. Kya sobrang proud kmi n mpabilang sa 47 students na iyon. Nagutom n rin kmi, kya ayun, kumain kmi sa tpat ng palma hall, kain lng ng kain. Ng maisipan n naming umuwi, uwi n kmi. Pero nahirapan kming sumakay ng jeep pabalik ng sm north, joyride tlga. Tpos di pa kmi nakuntento sa kinain sa up, diretso nman kmi nila hane, vittzy at kim sa fudcourt, kain n nman ng dinner. Hehe.. tpos kwentuhan, 7:30 ngtxt n c mama, kya un uwian blues na..
January30- practice ng prom, whole day… ayun, enjoy namn, ang kulit nmin sa pglakd, at may sarili pa talga kming mga poses…
Ayaw ko ng mgpaka-senti, promise… pero bkit b di ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. Shemay namn oh… masaya na ako sa sitwasyon ntin, kuntento n ako, sa ganito, ang tanging hiling ko n lng tlga ay wag kang aalis. Pwede b? ako, di kita iiwan. I will never ever say GOODBYE… promise. Kya I hope that you will also promise the same thing.
Ano kya ang gagawin mo pag ngkita tau ng di inaasahan? Ako, yayakapin kita at sasabihing “di kita iiwan”
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 1/31/2007 11:16:00 PM
Monday, January 22, 2007
People have different outlooks in love. But whatever they maybe… There’s only a single truth behind everyone’s heartache:
Love hurts when God knows we deserve someone else.
Isang nakakagimbal, nakakatuwa, nakakaexcite na araw. JANUARY 22, 2007, ang pinaka di ko malilimutang araw…
Bago ang lahat, kwento muna ako sa mga nangyari nung nakaraang mga linggo…
January 15 - last long test sa physics for this quarter. Sobrang tension ang aking nadama. Pero ang tanging inisip ko na lang, after nito, tpos na ang lahat.
January 16 – pinakita ni sir ung result ng long test… hehe… itatawa ko n lng un… unang hating kaligayahan. Birthday din ng aking beloved little brother... wala masyadong handa… carbonara, cake at afritada… ang importante nging masaya ang brother ka… binigyan ko rin sya ng jelly tongue as a birthday gift. Itong araw ding ito tsi-neck ung notebook nmin sa physics… after kung magpuyat ng 3 consecutive days ay nging mganda nman ang resulta. Sobrang di ko ini-expect un…
January17 – National Career Assessment Exam (NCAE) pronounced as “en-khai”(courtesy by: hane) ang pinakahihintay na test ng buong bansa. Wlang pasok ang mga undergraduates. Nangarag ako sa entrepreneurial test… whahaha… sobrng nakakalito… pgkatpos, perio mode na…
January 18 – first day ng perio… kumusta namn at sobrng hirap ng test sa English. 170 items for 1 hour… sobrng kulang ang oras, promise… tpos nalito pa ako sa math. Nakalimot pa sa minemorized sa econ… how’s that namn…
January 19 – second day ng perio, concepts sa kem pamatay… research… kaloka ung mga parametric tests etc… tpos ung sa mapeh… pinairal ko n nman ang katangahan ko… wahaha,, spelling ng Gutierrez di ko pa alam… shem….
January 20 – MTAP Division Elimination. Di ko naman inaasahang makakapasok ako. Ang tanging hilinh ko lng ay makakuha ako ng 35 and above na score. First at last time kong sumali sa mtap. It’s a great experience for me, dhil at lest ay naranasan kong ma-oressure sa loob ng 2 hours. At nakaya kong mag-solve ng puro math problems sa loob ng 2 hours. First tym ko iyong ginawa sa buhay ko.
Diretso agad sa practice ng Chicago… after ng practice shopping galore kmi ni mama… bili ng costume pra sa razzle dazzle, fish net stocking pra sa cell clock, contact lens para sa prom.. and or course fitting day ko… pra sa prom gown ko… at dahil sa kakalakwatsa ko, wla akong naaral. May isa png araw ng perio… ang tamad ko tlaga
January 21 – Happy Fiesta!!! Viva Senor Sto.Nino!!! ayan, fiesta dito sa lugar nmin, ngsimba muna kmi nung umga, tpos may unting ceremony, kasi deboto kmi… tpos nung hapon ati-atihan na… ay naku… di na nman ako nkapag-aral…. Ang ingay kc lalo n nung hapon… hehehe
Nilubos-lubos ko na ang araw at di ako natulog ng mgdamag, pra mkapgaral…
January 22, 2007 – at exactly 1:38a.m. ay ngtxt c tita tess ( mami ni kan) n nkapasa ako sa up….at first di ko maxadong pinansin ung message, because I was totally focused on wat I am studying…. Namulat n lng ako sa katotohanan nung ng-GM c cheery n lumabas n ang upcat results, tpos sinundan p ni jihad… wahaha… txt q agad ky tita test kung san nia nlamn, at kung anong course…nagulantang ang buong kabahayan ng sabihin kong B.S. Nursing naipasa ko.. whahaha…. Sobrng di ko ineexpect un… as in… kaya sobrng ngpapasalamat ako ky lord kc di niya ako pinabayaan. Totoo ung sign n hiningi ko… actually, I’m just asking for a sign, any kind ng sign… tpos pagkatapos ng samba, pupunta sna ako sa prayer room, pero under construction pa cya, so I decided to go home na, pagkapunta ko sa tpat ng simbahan biglng ngkaroon ng fireworks display, di ko alam kung anong okasyon at may paputok, tpos ngpasalamt ako ky Lord, if evr man n un n ang sign. At un n nga di ko akalaing its for real.
Pero sa kabila ng kasiyahang aking nadama, may kaakibat itong kalungkutan, bumalik sya.. pero di p rin ako sigurado kung mananatili sya. Mhirap ang umasa, mas lalo lng akong masasaktan, pero anong magagawa ko? Wala… un n lng ang tanging paraan, kung hindi ay maloloka ako…
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 1/22/2007 10:30:00 PM
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Nagkamali ba ako?... Mahal kita...
Pagkatapos kong makakita ng rainbow, akala ko magiging maayos at masaya na ang lahat. Pero tila nagkamali ako, tila masyado akong umasa at nangarap. Tila tama pa ang akala kong mali. Ito na ang huli kong pagda-drama. I have to move on and focus on other important things.
Natakot ako at nag-alala, akala ko may masama ng nangyari, dahil kinutuban ako, pag kinutuban kasi ako, di na maalis sa isip ko ang di mag-alala sa taong iyon. Dumaan ang mga araw, mas lalo akong nagalala. Sinubukan kong wag isipin, pero, bigla-bigla itoy bumabalik sa aking isipan, kung bakit? Hindi ko rin alam.
Nang muli kong nasilayan ang liwanag, naging masaya ako ulit. Pero ito pala ay panandalian lamang. Hindi ko mawari kung bakit kailangan ay masaktan na naman ako. Kasasabi ko lang na sana ay di na maulit ang mga masasakit na pangyayari, pero sadya sigurong di ko na ito maiiwasan, at patuloy pa rin akong nasasaktan.
Kung sana lang talaga, maaga tayong nagkakilala, di sana naging ganito ang nangyari. Palagi tayong pinagtatagpo, pero ni minsan ay di ko naisip na magkakakilanlan tayo.
Ang sabi mo sa akin wag akong mag-alala, pero sa ginagawa mo mas lalo akong nagaalala, para bang may mabigat sa kalooban ko na di ko mawari kung ano. Kung may problema sabihin mo,hindi yung nanghuhula ako kung anong dahilan ng mga pangyayari. Mas nasasaktan ako.
Kung alam mo lang, halos gabi-gabi naiiyak ako. Nasasaktan. Nagtatanong. Pero kailangan na sigurong tapusin na ito. Sabi mo nga lahat ng ito ay para sa ikakabuti ko. Di ko man alam kung sa anong paraan ito makakabuti sa akin.
Salamat sa lahat. Naging part ka na ng pagkatao ko at sobrang nagpapasalamat ako dun. Higit sa lahat, dahil sa iyo, natuto akong harapin ang buhay bilang isang mas matapang na tao.
Hanggang dito na lang ang lahat. Tapos na ang masasayang oras na hinahangaan ko ang rainbow. Sumisinag na ang araw, unti-unti ng nawawala ang mga magagndang kulay ng rainbow, sabay nito ay kakalimutan ko na ang mga masasakit na nangyari. I have to move on. Kelangan ko ng mas mag-focus sa mga importanteng bagay sa buhay ko. Dahil itong pagkakaabalahan ko, siguradong di ako iiwan, at higit sa lahat, ito ang magdidikta ng aking kinabukasan.
Salamat ulit.
P.S. Belated 18th birthday to my cousin, ate ne, dalaga ka na… sana ay maging successful ka sa career na iyong tatahakin.
Happy 10th birthday Earl John. Matupad sana lahat ng wishes mo. Little bro, sana mas maging mabait ka, at pagbutihan mo pa lalo ang iyong studies. Love you.
Happy birthday Roxanne and Jihad. (January 17) I wish you good health, and a bright future to both of you.
Happy birthday also to Jeff. May God always bless you, and your family. Galingan mo pa lalo sa studies mo. Kaya mo yan. I’m hoping na maging valedictorian ka. Hehe. Maging maligaya ka sana sa iyong birthday. Ung gift niyo ni Roxy, sa reunion na lang. Feb.3… okei…
.........................:)
Tapos na ang drama… kung alam mo lang, mahal kita.
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 1/14/2007 11:15:00 PM
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Last update q… October 24… pagkatapos ng unos, isang bahaghari ang lilitaw…
Bagong taon na, at ngayon na lang ako ulit nakapag-update, paxenxa naman… nagging busy lang po ako…
Pagkatapos ng nangyaring unos sa akin noong October, may panibagong unos na dumating sa aking buhay… ang pagmo-move on… Mhirap pla tlaga un… ang kalimutan ang isang taong akala mo ay magiging special na part na ng iyong buhay. Matagal din bago ako nakalimot… sa totoo lng di ko pa talaga siya nakakalimutan… ano ba ang meron sa knya n di ko malimutan. Naging sobrang hirap tlaga sa akin ang mga pangyayari, sobrang na-depressed ako. Pero mahirap mang tanggapin, kelan na akong humarapo sa panibagong yugto ng aking buhay….
Well… ano n bng ngyari…ayan… ang November ang pinakamasaya at pinaka nakakapagod n month para sa akin… start na ang MTAP…. Ito na ata ang pinakamasayang MTAP na ina-ttendan ko… sobrang galling magturo ni ma’am villaluna, at super enjoy tlga ung discussions… sayang lng tlga at may na-miss akong isang session. Pinagsisisihan ko tlga un…. Sa bawat session n dumaan, mas lalo kong gusting mag-sabado na,,, at dating gawi,,, sm n namn kmi… kain sa fudcourt,,, sa aming ever-beloved KIPP’S… pgkatpos nito ay kunting chika at lakwatsa… hahaha…. Sobrang na-miss ko rin ang dance maniax,,, kya un… pg ginanahan kmi, diretso ng quantum…
Isa sa mga masayng ngyari sa akin nitong November, ay nung nkapasok kmi ng intel…. Selebrasyon….. ang inaasam-asam nming lhat… akalain mo na nakpasok ang project naming…. Di tlga ako mkapaniwalwa…. Dhil sa pasok kmi sa intel, ngarag kmi nung sem break, inaasikaso ung mga forms n kelngng tapusin….
Ito n po… intel na… 1st day… pre-judging… kinabukasang araw, un na ang decision time… sa applied ang nkapasok pra sa SRC screening ay:
Applied (individual)
1.Cherry Oracion QCSHS
2.Kuya Lorenz MaSCi
3.mr. I don’t know (?)
Team
1.Sharlyn Celino (QCSHS)
2.Kristian Tolentino (QCSHS)
3-4 2 PhiSci entries
5-6 Masci entries
7. MakatiSCI entry
Life (individual)
1.Dianne Pili (qcshs)
di ko n kilala ung iba…
Panalo cla Cherry (2nd, diretso sya sa ASEP nationals) at Dianne (1st, Intel Nationals)
Kmi… bitter na namn…. Ang ginawa ng mga natalong groups,,, kumain sa KFC… dun ay reunion ako with my 2 former clasm8s nung elem… c isille at fernani…pagkatapos magpakabusog… diretso quantum, nAg-taiko kmi… nglabas lng ng sama ng loob, bitterness, anger,,, etc….ang skit sa kamay… promise… pero enjoy.,..
Sa rami ng contest na sinalihan ko… ang rami ko n ring na-miss n test… buti n lng may () kming choice… hahaha… I juz love 90…..kc khit mgmake-up k ng mga namiss mong test… its either 90 or ung obtained scoe mo… so… kung mas mababa sa 90 ang nkuha mo… 90 p rin equivalent mo… hahaha… 2 quiz na sa math ang napasa ko dhil sa 90 na score… magdiwang… sa physics may isang long test na akong nalusutan at nakakuha ako ng 90… pero ung obtained score ko 89… oks p rin at least tumaas ako ng 1 point….
DECEMBER… nging sobrang busy na kmi para sa carol fest… take note… isang lingo lng kmi ng-prepare… at sobrang swerte p rin kmi… naka-3rd place kmi… hahahaha…. Magdiwang ulit….
1.DARWIN 4
2.BECQUEREL 4
3.AVOGADRO4
tpos… ayun…
ay nga pla ….. sinigt ko lng…
Dec.16… PDA grand dream night,… binabati ko si YEng dhil nanalo cya… pero pra sa akin best performance that night c RONNIE LIANG….>>> wla kng msabi…. Wla syang flats, sharps or khit anong mistake….. I love you RONNIE…..
Dec.20- last Christmas party sa quesci…. Mamimisss ko ang Christmas party… la ng ganito sa college… sa exchange gift… monita ko c JANe… salamt sa watch… luv ko cya…. Baby ko c MUNOY… sana nagustuhan mo ung shirt… sa YSG… c Francis… san mo sinabit un???? Nakabunot sa akin c DEWITT!!!!! HOY!!!! Lalaki… bat wla akong gift… humanda k tlga sa akin… sisingilin ko ung 100 ko… png-load ko rin un noh…. Ang KURIPOT mo ha…. Hmmp….
Pagkatapos ng party, diretso agad sa sm… pichur…pichur… sinulit ang bwat sandali sa tpat ng mga lens ng camera… enjoy tlga… tpos… bonding moment with AMYNK… nag-stay kmi sa fuccourt… kinain ang cookies n bgy ng flexies… tpos pinapak ung lumpiang shanghai at chicken curry…
Dec.21 – Birthday ni Mei-shee…. Practice kmi ng presentation pra sa YMCA nung hapon sa staffrum… kalog kung kalog na ito.. pagdating ko sa bhay, binanatan ko na namn ang IT started with a kiss… hahaha… umiyak n nman ako… ang gandah tlga ng last 5 chapters…
Dec.22, hana yori dango naman ang binanatan ko… melai Happy Birthday…. Wlang chapter 8 ang HYD…… sayang… ang gwapo ni rui hanazawa… go Oguri Shun… wlng tututol… hahaha… na-miss ko ang reunion ng SNPS… hows dat namn… huhuhu, mizz ko na kau…. Txt nio n lng aq…
Dec.24-25… usual celebration ng Christmas…. Kain… tulog… nothing special… salamt sa mga ngbgay sa akin ng gifts… labyah all…
Dec.26- this is it… ang YMCA day ….. 5 days akong mawawala sa bhay ko… nku… d ako sanay… katakot… pero actually excited ako… sobra… meet ng new frenz…
Tpos new year… ang bilis lng… pgkatpos…. March na!!! graduation n!!! bye bye n!!!!... di pwede… dpat wlang byes….
MOMENT Q:
Sabi nga nila , pag may ngsarang pintuan, may magbubukas na bintana… bintaNa n bng maituturing ang pgkakahanap mo ng panibagong tao sa buhay mo… ang msakit kc… kung kelan unti-unti ay nawawala na sya sa aking icpan… tsaka naman bigla ko cyang makikita… sa d ko inaasahang oras,araw at panahon… bkit kelangn n pra kng ipis n pasulpot-sulpot sa kung saan… alam mo b mhirap pra sa kin un… sobra… magkahalong kasiyahaan at kalungkutan ang aking ndama nung muli taung mgkita… hindi ko alam kung un ba ay pahiwatig na may pagasa pa… o indikasyon n ito n ang huli at di na tlg pwede khit kelan???? Ouch…. Pero khit msakit, nging mligaya ako nung araw na un… ung dti kong ngiti ay bumalik khit s sndling pnhon n un… kung alam mo lng kung anong kagalakan ang nadama ng aking puso nung muli taung mgkita… di n namn cguro npancin… pero ang puso ko’y lubos n ngagalak. Pero lhat ay my katapusan, pti ang masayang pangyayari n un. Ntpos ang araw at ang ngiti q ay unti-unti ng napapawi.
Panibagong panahon, panibagong araw… di p man kita lubos n nlilimutan, apero alam ko na wla n tlga un… kya alam ko n my nkaplano n c lord s kin… un n nga ang pgbibigay ng bahaghari, pagktpos ng ulan… di mo man sya kaparehas ng ugali, nararamdaman ko ng sobrng maalalahanin cya… sa lhat ng pagkakataon nndyan cya pra sa akin… di katulad mo n di mo mahanap pag kelngn ko… mabait nman cya… hnda nia akong ipagtanggol sa lahat ng pagkakataon… may ngiti syng binibgy sa bwat araw n kmiy ngkikita… may kmy syng nkaalalay sa lhat ng oras… ano p b ang mahihiling ko… alam ko na… sana ay di na cya mawala sa tabi ko… kasi pag ngkataon… ang puso ko khti kelan di na maghihilom… pra sa king past… di pa ako hndang awitin ang “almost over you”, alam ko nmn n di ka pa napapalitan sa aking puso.. ayaw kong mgpanggap n limot n kita.. pero gusto ko lng mgpasalamt sau dhil khit ganun ang ngyari ay nging masaya kng parte k ng buhay ko…ngpapasalamt din ako, dhil khit anong ngyari, hnda k p ring batiin ako, if ever man n mgkikita tau… sa ngaun… dahan-dahn muna ang lhat… pero sana… huling iyak ko n ito… para sayo… hnda k snang mghintay hnggat di pa ako nakakalimot, at sana hnda k rin punasan ang aking mga luha sa mga di sinasadyang pagkakataon…
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 1/03/2007 07:30:00 PM
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
makaraan ang halos 3 buwan n di ko pag-uupdate ng blog ko, buhay ulit ako paramagkwento ng aking buhay. for the past months ay nakaranas ako ng kasiyahan, kalungkutan at pagkakaroon ng love interest.
mga last week ng august ay naging busy kami sa pagpra2practice para sa SABAYANG PAGBIGKAS at swerte naman at nanalo kami... 2nd place. pero wala si Bibs na aking kapartner, absent din si Anna. baging masakitin ang AVO nung week na nagpre2pare kmi. tpos ayun meron pa pala, natalo ako sa kauna-unahang kong individual contest saecon... POPULATION QUIZ, sayang talaga yun, kung nagkataon na nanalo ako eh di sana regional level na ang sunod, sayang talga. pero kahit ganun ay bibigyan pa rin naman ako ni sir jack ng another oppurtunity,ang ECOQUIZ, nga november/december/january pa yun. Team contest naman ito, at sabi ni sir makakasama ko dito si betsow... sana ay manalo kami dahil kailangna naming i-defen yung pagiging champion.
1st sunday ng september, ina-nounce ang top 10, at binigay ang cards. sa kasamaan and at the ame time, kabutihang pald ay naksama pa rin ako sa top ten, kaso nga lang top10, in short SABIT AKO... nalungkot talaga ako, pero wala na tayong magagawa dun kaya ipinangako ko na pagbubutihan ko ang 2nd quarter. nakakalungkot ang grade ko sa PHYSICS and RESEARCh, ang dalawang subject na nagpahila sa grade ko.
naging busy ako sa buong month ng september dahil sa foundation week... naging fruitful naman ang booths ng science club at kumita kmi ng mga P9500.00 not bad... dadagdagan p namin yan sa science week. wala naman akong masyadong naging problema sa mga ibang officers, at nagpapasalamat ako nakasama ko si mommy, tinulungan niya ako safood booth. THANKS MOMMY!
SEPTEMBER 26, ayan birthday ko na... hehe, ang pinakamasayang birthday ko sa laht, pero ito ay may halong lungkot at inis. September 24 p lang ay naghanda na sa bahay. cake,karekare,kaldereta, fruitsalad, at rocky road n ice cream. september 25, may paagang birthday sa akin angmga true FRIENDS ko... sa sobrang pagiging true FRIENDS nila ay naiins ako at nagalit ng todo. kulang na lang ay magmura ako ng p***ina..sa mismong araw ng birthday ko ay sinurprise ako ng amynk sa kanilang production number, may matching spongebob theme sa board namin.. MARAMING SALAMAT ... salamat din samga bumati sa akin... pano ba yan matanda na ako... itong araw na ito ay punong-puno ng surprise, isa na ito ang pagkaalam ko na ka-birthday ko si sir jex, akalain mo... kala ko nagbibiro lang si mam guggie nung sabihin niya ito, pero its for real. ka-birthday ko nga talaga siya.15years din ako naghintay ng ka-birthday ko tapos ngayon nga ay may nahanap na ako.. well... ok lng pala na maghintay ng 15 years...
ng first week ng october ay naging busy kami sa pagaasikaso ng reseach paper... at sa wakas ay natapos rin namin ito... nakasama pa kami para sa national inventor's week pati sa INTEL, grabeng achievement ito...habang gumagawa ako ng research paper noong oct.10 ay sobrang na-inspired ako, dahil may isang taong nag-aalala sa kin, pinaalalahanan niya ako na uminom ng aking gamot...as in sobrang concern siya, at dahil dun ay na-touch talga ako,.
October11. birthday ni ger, field trip atmaysakit ako, how's that naman. ng nasa bus na ko, lalo yataakong nagksakit, na-lovesick ata ako... hehehe, iba naman kc ung may tinetext ka ahbang may biyahe di b??? enjoy naman ang field trip kaso nga lang nakakapagod talaga lalo na ugn maysakit ka di ba. habang nasa resort ay nakipagtsikahan ako kay sirjex, ayun umiral na naman ang pagiging madaldal ko, kaya kahit masakit na ang lalamunan ko sige, daldal pa rin ako... rami namin napagusapan pati ung mga bad things napagusapan namin.
Oct.12 nabulok ako. period........................ wala kasing magawa, pumasok lng ako dahil may PHYSICS, hows that naman talaga...speaking of PHYSICS, i love physics na talga, kasi namn kung dati bagsak-bagsak ang long testko sa p6, ngayon lahat pasado, at hindi basta-basta pasado lang, sobrang pasado. kaya naman nagpapasalamatako kay sir kulong, dahil sobrang naintindihan ko ang lessons. thanks SIR!!!
Oct.13 friday the 13th, muntikan na akong mabulok nung hapon, buti na lang at hindi. pero nabulok ako noong uamga, ay di pala.. kasi nag-present kami sa pinoy... kabanat 20- ang nagpapalagay. Interview ang ginawa namin.
me- don custodio, roanne and lars - maharot n host, ray and stella- maharot na director,crew atbp.
nagibg sobrang lucky at saya para sa akin ngaraw na ito. punong-puno ng mga bagay na nagpa-inspired sa akin ng lubusan, sobrang saya grabe... ang saya ng feeling na makatanggap ng gift... piggy na blue,,, sobrang cute naman...
pagkatapos ng araw na ito, balik na tayo sa katotohanan. ang mga bagay-bagay ay hindi pwedeng magingpanghabang- buhay... pati ang mga tao ay kailangang mawala. di natin alam kung kelan kayo magki2ta, tadhana na ang bahala.
PERIO WEEk na!!! bad ang naging resulta ng chem ko... im praying na kem lang...
sem.break na!!!! panahon kung saan maari ka ng magpahinga pero di pa rin pwede... lam nio yun?? sobrang busy pa rin kahit bakasyon na!!!
ako ngayon ay may pusong sawing-sawi... matapos ng isa, ay ito na naman ang panibagongsugat sa aking puso.. bakit b hindi na pwede? bakit ba hindi pwedeng magtagal? wala naman tayong problema, bat di ka nagrereply? wala ka bang lod? nyeek, ang babaw mo, pwede ka namn magpaload tpos txtmo ako at sbhing, xenxa n, buasy ako at walng load... di b?ngayon ay kailangan ko ng wakasan ang kahibangan kong ito... dahil lalo lang masasaktan ang aking puso, lalo lang ako malu2ngkot at luluha... ayaw ko ng maalala ang laht, ewan ko ba? maayos namn ang mga pangyayari, kaso nga lang ay humarang ang panahon. nasasayangan tuloy ako sa mga araw na hindi ko pinahalgahan, kung ngingmas maaga lang sana ang laht, ehdi sana happy endingh ang drama nating dalawa, pero hindi eh... wala na akong magagawa dun, kundi hintayin muli angpanahon na tayoy pagtagpuin muli, malay natin... malay ko! dito ko na tinatapos ang laht, im going to move on na... promise... siguro ay matatagalan bago kita malumot pero kahit ganun ay malilimut pa rin kita....maari... hindi ko alam... maaringsa mga susunod na araw ay maririnig mo na akong kumakanta ng "ALMOST OVER YOU" maari rin naman na hindi...malay ko, malay mo, malay natin...
at sa pagtatapos ng unos na ito ay sana magawa ko pa ring ngumiti at makawayan ka pag tayoy muling magkita... di ko alam kung true love na ito, pero kung ito na nga talaga un, patawarin mo ako at di ko nasabi, patawarin mo ako kung akoy nahuli man, patawarin mo ako at kailangan na kitang limutin. mahal kita...
--------love-------------is------------not----------meant-----------FOREVER----------------
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 10/24/2006 10:34:00 PM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
sa mga taong di pa nakakakilala sa akin, sa unang tingin akala nila'y ako'y isang tahimik, mabait at sobrang modest na girl, para bang isang maamong tuta kapag nasa isang sulok lang ako at may sariling mundo.
pero kapag nakilala mo na ako, masisiraan ka na ng bait, bakit?? kasi makulit ako, mainggay, pacute lagi, baby kung umasta.
kapag nagalit ako, daig pa ang mt. mayon kung sumabog. kapag inis ako, para akong isang plastic sobrang saya ko pa, at napakabait ko sa taong kagalit ko.
kapag akoy masaya isinishare ko sa laht ng tao, pag akoy depressed makikita mo na ako sa canteen, kumain este lumalamon. kapag akoy excited at kinakabahan, aakalain mong umiiyak na ako sa sobrang kaba.
kapag ako'y in - love, lagi akong nasa cr nag-aayos ng hair and face. pag ako'y broken - hearted, nagpapaganda pa rin ako, sabay kanta ng sobrang lakas ng mga kanta ng mga sawi sa pag-ibig.
nagyon akoy masaya dahil may isang "jun" na aking inspirasyon sa buhay. ngayon akoy medyo naiinis sa mga taong "mean".
ngayon akoy kinakabahan sa nalalapit na bigayan ng cards at top ten.
ngayon akoy masaya dahil unti-unti ng umunlad ang research project namin.
ngayon akoy excited sa nalalapit na field trip namin.
akoy depressed dahil naalala ko pa rin siya, sana ay makalimutan ko na yun dahil may jun na ako hehe...
ngayon akoy nagi-enjoy sa aking last few months bilang 4th yr.
ngayon ay katatapos pa lang naming magcelebrate dahil nanalo ang AVO-4 sa "sabayang pagbigkas".
ngayon akoy masaya dahil si hane' ay inilayo ni Lord sa mas malalim na sugat, sana ay unti-unti ay magamot na ang mga sugat at sakit na iyong nararamdaman.
ngayon akoy nagdadasal na lahat ng AVO ay ilayo sa sakit, at sana ay uminom na kayo ng vitamin c okay?!GOD BLESS...
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 8/26/2006 10:00:00 PM
True Confessions 2
“Eh? What’s this?”
“Operation Stop Love?”
Yankumi had the grace to blush as the two women leaned over her shoulders to peer at the paper she had tried so desperately to hide. She had spent all night thinking up a plan to stop Sawada’s advances and she was quite proud of the list she had compiled. Short of threatening the teen with a sound beating, she would have to make do with these smaller but no less effective tactics.
“Ah, this…this is nothing,” she said quickly, laughing as she began to stuff the paper between her text books. “It’s just plans for a…a…book I’m writing.”
“What’s that?” Kyoto-sensei asked loudly. The head teacher was always quick to take notice of matters that concerned Yamaguchi and her delinquent students. His plans to get rid of that class had so far fallen short each and every time, but he was going to succeed someday. It was only a matter of time. He smirked knowingly as he walked towards the flustered woman. “You are writing a book, Yamaguchi sensei?”
“Ah…uum…” Shit! What have I gotten myself into?! How am I going to tell them otherwise?!
“You do know that teachers in this school are not allowed to write books, at least while on the job until they are fired…eh…out of the school.”
His smirk grew wider and Yankumi could feel her jaw beginning to ache from having to force a polite smile on her visage. “Ah…I didn’t know that, Kyoto-sensei. I’ll stop writing the book then.”
“Eh?”
“Oh, would you look at the time?! I have to be at my class now!”
And hardly giving the others a chance to say anything else, she bowed quickly and fled the teacher’s lounge.
“Whew…thank goodness I managed to get out of that one,” she said with a soft laugh as she walked down the corridor. “It would have been trouble trying to explain that to anyone. Geez, trust Fujiyama sensei and Kawashima sensei to be so nosey…”
“Shin?! Oy, Shin! Wait up!”
She froze at the sound of the name; her stomach doing a nervous flip-flop as the memory of Sawada’s lips against hers came rushing back to her mind. Her fingers tightened around the textbooks as she took a tentative step forward. Leaning over the rail slowly, she could make out the figures of Uchiyama and Noda walking towards the dark-haired boy waiting for them. As usual, Shin looked cool and collected; a hand within the pocket of his pants and some t-shirt with a rock band logo on it hidden beneath his school jacket. He gave a small nod towards his friends as they approached. They were beginning to talk about something rather earnestly and being the curious woman she was, Yankumi found herself leaning closer and closer to…
“Aieee!!” The books fell to the ground below with a loud crash and for a heart stopping moment it seemed as if she was suspended above the rail about to join her books! How in the world had she managed to lean out this far?!
“Yankumi!” Uchi and Noda yelled out in surprise and mild panic as they noticed the person responsible for the noise.
Damn it! I’m going to die in front of my students like a peeping tom! If only I hadn’t stopped to look at…eh?
A strong arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her back to safety. She didn’t need to turn around to know who her rescuer was. She could feel her cheeks flaming with embarrassment as well as another emotion she had only thought she could have for Shinohara.
“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” Shin muttered softly into her hair, making no effort to release her just yet. “Do you want to kill yourself?”
“Ah…I…I was just…” With an effort, she pulled herself away from his embrace and held up her hands before her as if warding off the devil. She couldn’t get herself to look him in the eye and settled for staring at a spot on his forehead. “I was just about to tell you boys to start heading to class. If you had been late…”
“…I would have to scrub the toilets,” Shin finished with a small smirk while trying to hide his disappointment at how quick she had pulled away.
“Bu…but of course!”
“Shin! Yankumi!” Uchi cried out in concern as he and Noda ran towards them. They both held Yankumi’s books in their hands books for herppointment at how quick she was to flee from himdn ir homeroom. ist pump in the air at the bottom . “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said with a relieved sigh, glad that she was no longer alone with Shin. He really was beginning to make it difficult to think these days…or maybe since yesterday. “Ah, thank you for picking up my books…crap!”
She watched, as if in slow motion, as the dreaded paper filled with her plans began to fall from the book Noda was waving about. Eyes widening in horror, she reached out to snatch it from the air, but someone else was much faster and now held it in his hand.
Oh…shit.
Shin stared at the hastily scribbled words finished with a comical picture of Yankumi with a fist pump in the air at the bottom of the page. “What is…?”
“Nothing!” Yankumi cried out with a laugh that felt a bit forced. She grabbed the paper and her books from the boys quickly and began to shove them onwards. “Now, now, let’s not stand around here doing nothing! It’s time for class, okay? Class!”
Shin spared her another quizzical look, allowing himself to be pushed towards their homeroom. Operation Stop Love? What the hell did that mean? Geez, just when he thinks he has managed to figure out this woman, she turns around and does something completely new and different.
__
As usual, the room was noisy and boisterous – that was until Yankumi bellowed at them to shut the hell up. Not exactly the way a teacher ought to speak to her students, but then again, they had come to know of her background and were quite used to her mood swings and sometimes foul language.
Shin settled into his chair and promptly laid his head on the desk with a soft sigh. It felt relatively cool against his heated forehead as he tried to convince himself that it was only because of having fled up that flight of stairs to rescue her. Just how many times had he done that now? It seemed that he was either helping her get out of trouble or she was the one saving his hide. Of course it was a blow to his pride that a woman had to help him out in fights, but he had come to find out that he didn’t really mind having Yankumi by his side…to fight with and for him of course.
His lashes grew heavier as her voice droned on although the soft murmurs from the students were beginning to rise in tempo. Kuma was saying something to him now, but he could barely hear a thing.
/Do you like me?/
Geez…what kind of a question is that? What had she expected him to say? Did she think he was going to blurt out his feelings for her just like that? Of course he still wasn’t really sure of what to think of Yankumi anyway. She had shown she was strong…and smart – when she wasn’t too busy spacing out and dreaming of that lawyer guy. He groaned and closed his eyes. That was another problem too. Not only did he have to deal with being treated as a student, he knew he had his work cut out for him since Shinohara was in the picture.
/Sawada…kiss me…/
His cheeks felt hot and he had to clamp his thighs together quickly. No, he hadn’t been imagining things. He was sure she had said those words to him yesterday on the roof top. And to make it even better, she had asked him – Sawada – to kiss her not Shinohara. It was a pity he had chickened out at the last minute. He had gotten so nervous at the thought of actually kissing her completely that he had backed out. He sighed again. She really was cute when she chose to be and that unfortunately, was more than half of the time.
“So…anyone know the answer?”
He opened up his eyes slowly, listening to the restless shuffle of feet and heads being scratched. He lifted his head to stare at the question on the board, his mind processing the equation and coming to an answer just as quickly. He figured he’d wait a little more for someone else to give it a shot.
“Eh? No one knows the answer to this?”
He almost felt sorry for her, standing alone before the class - looking so small and helpless like a sheep thrown in the lion’s den. He almost felt like knocking his classmates’ heads together to make them think! It wasn’t that difficult of a problem. This was elementary school stuff.
Come on…someone…answer…
Her shoulders slumped a little and he felt something hard twist within his chest. Shit! Why did he have to give a damn so much? With a soft sigh, he began to lift his hand to reply but to his surprise as well as every one else’s, Kuma’s hand shot up quickly.
“I know! It’s…eh…two, right?”
Way to go, Kuma, he thought as a smile – almost proud to an onlooker – came to Shin’s lips. He listened to Yankumi’s whoop of delight and the subsequent round of applause and cheers from the rest of the students. Kuma was a good kid at heart. Sure he was heavy-set and had a brain the size of a pea, but he had his moments every once in a while.
“How did you get it right, Kuma?” Yankumi asked with unbridled joy. It meant that her lessons were finally getting across.
“Ah,” the blond began with a sheepish smile. “It’s because Shin teaches me after school sometimes.”
Shin groaned and laid his head on the desk again. Did he really have to say that?
“Eeeh?! Is that true, Sawada?!” Yankumi cried out in pleasure. “You should become a teacher too!”
The next thing he knew, she was ruffling his hair and he was trying to swat it away, trying hard not to blush at the contact. Everyone else was beginning to cheer him as well, but all he could see and feel were the warm eyes, her brilliant smile and the soft touch of her hands which sent pleasant tingles down his spine.
__
She groaned in dismay as she stared at Operation Number Two: Do not encourage him in class.
Well, she had definitely not kept that end of the bargain. She had gone to praise him for teaching Kuma and had even touched him! She stared at her hand as if it was guilty for making her go against her own rules. This would never do. She would have to really make Sawada hate her or he was going to keep falling in love with her.
“Oh!” She slapped her hands against her cheeks and stared at her flushed features in the mirror. “I shouldn’t be thinking about that!”
“Thinking about what?” Kawashima sensei asked as she walked into the restroom to stand beside the smaller woman. “Why do you look so red?”
“Red? I do?” Yankumi gaped at her reflection again and shook her head. Goodness! She hadn’t even thought of Shinohara sensei all this time and yet she was feeling this out of sync!
“Uh huh,” Kawashima powered her face as she spoke. “Fujiyama sensei and I are going to the bar tonight. Do you want to join us? Then you can tell us all about your Operation Stop Love.”
“Ah…that…”
“You weren’t planning on keeping it a secret from us, were you? If it’s a way to snag a good looking guy, then I’m all for it.”
Snag? I’m trying to keep him away!
“So will you join us?” Kawashima asked again.
Deciding that she had nothing better to do anyway and could do with the time away from her turbulent thoughts, Yankumi found herself nodding in agreement. “Yes…I’ll be there.
__
At the end of the get-together, Yankumi was just about ready to crawl into bed and never wake up for the rest of her life. Not only had she been forced to drink more sake than she would have liked, she had had to deal with the advances of the man Kawashima sensei had set her up with. Why hadn’t the nurse told her that she was bringing two men along? If Yankumi had known, she would have steered clear away from them.
“With that sigh, it doesn’t look like you had a lot of fun.”
“Like hell I had a lot of fun,” she replied automatically, barely aware of slipping into the cruder language of her roots. “I could have bashed his face in if he had come on to me one more time…eh?”
She blinked and gaped at the smirking teen walking past her. As usual, Sawada was carrying yet another bag of his dinner perhaps and although she had told him he could come to her house anytime for a meal, he was being such a stubborn brat.
“What are you doing here?” she asked rather dumbly.
He held up his bag, hardly waiting for her to catch up to him. “I’m going to eat. I’m hungry.”
“You can come over to my place, remember? My grandfather has wondered why you’ve not come in a while.”
He shrugged lightly and turned his face away, hardly breaking his stride as they crossed the street. “I’ll come…I just don’t feel like imposing myself on you.”
“Imposing yourself on us!” she cried out, slapping his shoulder with a force that had him wincing. She really didn’t know her own strength, did she? “You’re not imposing! We told you that you’re welcome anytime! But come to think of it…this isn’t your usual route.”
His blush darkened and he quickened his steps. No need telling her that he had been following her all evening. “I met up with Uchi and the others,” he lied quickly. “So we had to come down this way.”
“Oooh, is that so?” Hold on a minute! What am I doing?! I’m not supposed to be encouraging him, remember? So why am I inviting him over to my house? Why am I even walking with him?!
He stopped as he noticed that she wasn’t keeping up with him anymore. He cocked his head to the side and eyed her warily. “Yankumi? What’s wrong?”
“No…nothing,” she said quickly and with a small bow. “I’ll just be heading home now. I go that way, remember?”
He felt something heavy fall to the pit of his stomach and he grit his teeth for a second, wondering why he had put so much hope in her coming over to his place again. He had even bought an extra pack of noodles for that purpose.
“Ah…so…”
“I’m tired,” she said with a small smile of apology. “All that drinking and partying with the grownups is making me sleepy.”
He felt something cold creep down his spine at the deliberate jab, his hand tightening around the bag as he watched her carefully. That’s right. He wasn’t a grown up yet. He was just another kid in her class after all. How dumb had he been to think that she was the only one who could understand him?
“I see…” he said coldly. “Well…don’t let me keep you.”
And without another glance, he spun on his heels and walked away leaving Yankumi shivering beneath the warmth of her jacket. It would seem that without even trying much – she had somehow pushed Shin away.
Operation Stop Love – Success!
So why didn’t she still feel happy about that?
__
He let himself into his apartment and didn’t even bother turning on the lights. Of course it helped that the neon lights from a building outside illuminated the room a little, but it was still relatively dark and he was grateful for it.
He half-stumbled towards his bed and fell heavily upon it, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to will away the burning sting in his eyes.
God, how could he have been so stupid?! He cursed his age over and over again, pounding his fists into the pillows in frustration. It couldn’t be helped really, he thought after a while. As long as he remained in her class, he was always going to be a student to her and nothing more.
He rolled onto his back to stare blindly at the ceiling for several long minutes. What could he do now? How could he keep up with her? The more he thought, the more one possible solution came to mind. He knew it would hurt her…but if he hoped to make a statement, he would have to pull this off to perfection.
He would give her the cold shoulder – ignore her completely if need be – until she would come running back to him begging for forgiveness.
coloring my life.
alexielgenesis @ 8/26/2006 09:34:00 PM
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